Let me start by saying, "It's been a while." My only excuse being these past months have left me little time to gather my thoughts and grammatically connect three paragraphs well enough to post. As time feels slower today, I decided to throw my hair up into a messy bun, pour a cup of coffee, hide in my closet/office, and knock out some keystrokes. Homeschool, marriage, family; all have been a balancing act.
We are in our fourth year homeschool. This year (expectedly) feels different. Covid has brought a string of pressure and anxiety my girls nor I had prior. Their lack of "outside activities" has left them frustrated and agitated. They are both old enough to understand the state of our society is operating in chaos. At times I forget just how knowledgeable Nadia and Violet have become. This past Thursday, we sat down for dinner. Nadia picks up her fork, calmly says, "So what did you think of the debate. Biden lost points on the crime bill, but I liked his comeback response." Without hesitation, Ken follows up with his response, and we talk politics with our eleven, and eight-year-old daughters. At eight, I wanted to be a tetherball champion, and by eleven, I had dreams of being the first woman in the NBA. This year is not solely responsible for their early steps into adulthood, but it has held them hostage. Nadia and Violet have made it clear parental shielding stagnates their ability to understand and cope. We agree to take it one conversation at a time.
As a lot of marriages had and still adjust to a new dynamic, ours is no different. Ken's work requires a lot of time away from home. We have built-in quality and family time where we can. Friday is our day to run together (aptly named Couple Run Friday). Friday focuses on connecting outside of the work/ school day regime. Now, Friday night belongs to the children. Building in this time for each other is vital. We understand how easy it can be to become, 'two ships passing in the night." I worry for Ken. I have my runs to clear out the feeling of imploding. Ken is still searching for his zen. I want him to find it yesterday. We both wear our family on our back. However, his burden involves facing the bitter parts of the world daily and that adds a heaviness I wish I could split with him.
Our home is no different from any others right now. Everything is one big balancing act of trying to hold it all together. We are still working through moments of anger, sadness, resentment, fear, just like the rest of the world. And like the rest of the world, we still celebrate milestones, accomplishments, births, and reached goals. As a family, we laugh, build memories, help our community, work for charities, and reach out to those in need (in a safe way).
Millions of families are holding on, working through, and facing challenges daily. So are we. There is no magic formula to get through all of this. We can only continue to hold on, uplift, listen, communicate and work together.
Now, as comfy as it is in my closet/office, it's time for me to head out of Narnia. Until next time friends. Be well; you are worthy.